And all that we can be, not what we are

In which our Diva assembles another inspiration playlist

If you've been around me or my blog long enough, you know I usually put together a playlist for my theatre or film projects, of music that, for whatever reason, strikes the right emotional resonances for my character's journey. With The Laramie Project's ensemble nature -- eight actors playing 60+ people -- I had to approach things a little differently, and came up with a mix that speaks to me of the play as a whole.

Since there have been a number of songs directly inspired by and/or dedicated to Matthew Shepard (at least 61, as collected by JD Doyle at Queer Music Heritage, whom I thank profusely for sharing the fruits of his research online), I could have made multiple CD-length mixes of those alone. Paring them down to the handful that made the cut -- alongside other music that resonates with the play for me -- was a highly subjective process, and I encourage you to check out the whole collection on the QMH page.

In the end, this is what I came up with (click on the title to buy the track and support the artist!):

Randi Driscoll, "What Matters" - Written in 1998 in response to Matthew's death and released as a single to benefit the Matthew Shepard Foundation. Not only is it lovely and haunting in its own right, it spared me the agony of choosing what version of "Amazing Grace" to include.

Meredith Brooks, "Bitch" - Both on her website and in her book The Whole World Was Watching (which would be an amazing read even if I weren't in the midst of interpreting on stage several people in her life), Romaine Patterson describes this as Matt's favorite song and recalls him singing alternative lyrics they made up.

Peggy Lee, "Run For The Roundhouse Nellie" - The closest thing my research could turn up to Marge's "Run  for the roundhouse, Minnie." Either she knew another version of the song (more than possible), or she just substituted her mom's name and it stuck that way in her head.

W.G. Snuffy Walden, "One Will Fall By the Way" - It might seem weird to include a selection from the soundtrack to The Stand, but Matthew's murder coincided with a period when the Sci-Fi Channel seemed to be running the miniseries every two or three months, so it's part of my emotional wallpaper from that time. This track is the fullest realization of a melody that crops up again and again, always underscoring the inextricable tangle of sacrifice and hope. As Tom Cullen might say (and as I can't help thinking of every time I hear Doc O'Connor's "H-O-P-E" speech in The Laramie Project), "M-O-O-N. That spells hope."

Tara MacLean, "Evidence" - I discovered MacLean's album Silence at a record-store listening station (remember those?) in Bozeman, Montana while on a theatre tour in 1997, and the CD was still in heavy rotation in my listening habits when Matthew's murder dominated the news in late 1998. This particular song has always resonated with the event for me.

Melissa Etheridge, "Silent Legacy" - Etheridge actually wrote a song dedicated to Matthew (one of several titled "Scarecrow" in reference to Aaron Kreifels at first mistaking the unconscious Matthew for a scarecrow when he found him), but this raw, heartrending classic was the one that cried out to be included.

Andrew Spice, "Matthew" - One of the songs I discovered through the Queer Music Heritage page that particularly spoke to me.

Colleen Sexton, "Scarecrow" - Another gem from the QMH page. I decided I should really only have one song with this title, and with all respect to the great Melissa, the choice was a pretty easy one.

Elton John, "American Triangle" - I figured I probably shouldn't cross off all the big stars who wrote songs for Matthew. Sir Elton won the toss.

John Denver, "The Eagle and the Hawk" - I grew up on John Denver, and this song in particular feels like home, like my mountains. It was one of the first songs I chose to include, as a representation of the particular Western sense of the land that crops up several times in The Laramie Project. When I read on Romaine Patterson's FAQ that Matthew liked folk music, "John Denver and shit like that," it instantly became the centerpiece of the playlist.

Dashboard Prophets, "Ballad For Dead Friends" - At the time of Matthew's murder, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was already a surprise hit but not yet a game-changing cultural phenomenon. Its soundtrack is a handy source to mine for a bit of the indie-rock sound of the late 90s, and if it seems incongruous with TLP, remember that it's a modern parable of how ordinary people, particularly young people, can work together to save the world.

Indigo Girls, "Galileo" - I don't really have an explanation. It just feels right.

Sarah McLachlan, "Angel" - In honor of Angel Action, and a nod to Matthew's struggles with depression.

Jessica Weiser, "After the Rain" - I think this is my favorite among the many beautiful songs I discovered through the QMH page.

Magdalen Hsu-Li, "Laramie" - Much like The Laramie Project, though in a different way, this one is about the murder rebounding on the town, at least as much as it is about Matthew.

Jewel, "Hands" - "In the end, only kindness matters."

Orchestra of St. Lukes, "After Laramie" - From the HBO film version of TLP.

Brian Stokes Mitchell, "Make Them Hear You" - As much as I love Ragtime (read: a lot), this one wouldn't have occurred to me on my own, but it seemed obvious when I ran across this video about the Ford's Theatre production of TLP and heard it sung at the vigil they held on the 15th anniversary of Matthew's death.

Sarah McLachlan, "Prayer of St Francis" - May we all be instruments of peace.

deal with what is true from divababble on 8tracks Radio.

Yet here's a spot

In which our Diva has discovered a fun new toy

If you've been around this blog for a while, you know I like to create character-inspired playlists to listen to during the process of a show or film. I've played around with various ways to share them here, but somebody finally came up with one where you can upload whatever you want for listeners to stream, and not worry about whether all my more obscure stuff is in a given service's library. Yay!

(And once you're done streaming, perchance you will go and buy a track or three to have for your very own. Because supporting artists is awesome.)

yet here's a spot from divababble on 8tracks Radio.

When the sun is shining differently

In which our Diva seeks musical inspiration yet again

A friend recently pointed out a curious thing about the Pre-Raphaelites as a group that should have been obvious, but which had never occurred to me: None of them really cared a fig about music. They drew or painted people making and listening to it, and DGR drove people nuts by humming constantly while he worked, but they didn't think of it in the same artistic terms as the disciplines where they made their mark: painting, poetry, design.

Which hasn't stopped a variety of recording artists from being directly or indirectly inspired by them. The second half of Kate Bush's Hounds of Love is a mini-concept album called The Ninth Wave, with a secondary album "cover" intentionally based on Millais' Ophelia. Broadway star Rebecca Luker's last album features a lovely setting of a Christina Rossetti poem. And if you've ever seen or heard Loreena McKennitt, well.

The voice of my Lizzie is coming more easily as I write, and as with many characters I've played, I've assembled a playlist for her. Because unlike the PRs, I am very much a musical creature! Like the show, the playlist is a work in progress, and will probably shift a lot by the time I'm ready to put this baby on stage. (And suggestions, if you have them, are always welcome!) But for now, this is what I'm writing to.

I didn't set out for quite so much of it to speak to her relationship with Gabriel, since part of my intention has always been to bring out her own point of view, which history has tangled so inextricably with his. But then she did that herself to a large extent, and I'm finding my way more to acknowledging and dealing with that, while keeping the story very much hers. It remains to be seen if I succeed.

1. Loreena McKennitt ~ Stolen Child
2. Idina Menzel ~ Gorgeous
3. Sarah McLachlan ~ Fear
4. Plumb ~ Better
5. Sarah McLachlan ~ Stupid
6. Anne Buckley ~ Our Wedding Day
7. Evanescence ~ Going Under
8. Sarah McLachlan ~ Ice
9. Jewel ~ Foolish Games
10. Emilie Autumn ~ Opheliac
11. Rebecca Luker ~ Remember
12. Loreena McKennitt ~ The Lady of Shalott

 At least one of the above is equally applicable to the Lizzie and Gabriel of the BBC's rollicking and gorgeous Desperate Romantics, as evidenced by this fan-made music video. Inspiration abounds!

Titania's tunes

In which our Diva shares her musical inspiration

The playlist I compiled for this rehearsal process...

1. Invocation ~ Loreena McKennitt
2. Love And Anger ~ Kate Bush
3. Summerland ~ Gypsy Nomads
4. Beauty Has Her Way ~ Mummy Calls
5. Stolen Child ~ Loreena McKennitt
6. Sweet About Me ~ Gabriella Cilmi
7. Elan ~ Secret Garden
8. Siren ~ Sarah Brightman
9. Endless Dream ~ Conjure One
10. The Mummers' Dance ~ Loreena McKennitt
11. Possession ~ Sarah McLachlan
12. Moon Dance ~ Enaid & Einalem
13. Gorgeous ~ Idina Menzel
14. La Luna ~ Sarah Brightman
15. Bard Dance ~ Enya
16. Into The Fire ~ Sarah McLachlan
17. Beyond Imagination ~ Opera Babes

A Midsummer Night's Dream opens TONIGHT! Visit Storefront Shakespeare for details and to buy tickets online. Hope to see you there!

Little Toy Gun

In which our Diva reflects on her day as Creepy Mystery Woman

Random waking-up thought of the day: "Acting is what happens inside the curves."

No clue, but it sounds kinda profound, huh?

Great day on The Storm yesterday with a whole new set of cool Chicago film people.  Thanks to the two JRs of JR2 productions, Whitney the Clark Kent of directors, Nate the action man, Stephanie the chess goddess, and the whole crew.  I had a longish day, but everyone else had two VERY long days, and they're all champs!  (Hopefully they're all safely sleeping in right now!)

I think (hope?) Blue will surprise you when you see her.  She's all stillness and economy of movement, which is a challenge for perky-fidgety Val!  The stillness made it all the more important to find her default posture, and I was having a little trouble with that at first, until I tilted my head down a little bit to peer through my hair.  (It was a big deal in their concept of the character that her hair partially obscured her face, which was another challenge.   Not just because of what bits of expression might be lost, but because having my hair anywhere near my eyes drives me nuts.)  And *click*, there she was!  Funny how sometimes all it takes is the tiniest adjustment.  From the reactions of people on set, I think (hope?) she came across right.  Did I succeed in making real someone so very different from me?  We shall see...

Once again, forgot my camera, and I was doubly kicking myself for it when I saw what an awesome location Michael Reese Hospital is.  It closed last summer, though apparently it's connected somehow to other buildings that are still open.  But it has parts that look maybe a little dated but could be cleaned up easily enough to look like a working hospital... and parts that look like the zombies are waiting to grab you if you step off the elevator!  Chicago location scouts, take note!  (And get it while you can.  Apparently the property is slated as part of the Olympic Village if we get the 2016 games.  Which I want mostly for the proposed augmented public transit service in the burbs.)

It seems obvious to me, but people always seem surprised when I tell them I've done a little bit of target range shooting in addition to stage-combat firearms basics.  I have no interest at all in ever touching a real gun anywhere but on a range under qualified supervision, but it's such an incredibly valuable experience to have.  Ninety percent of convincing gun handling is not being afraid of the prop.  Which you can get from a stage-combat class firing blanks, along with valuable sense impressions like just how loud it really is, and how heavy it really is, and the smell of the metal and how stays on your hands.  (I don't even have a very good sense of smell, and that's a key thing for me.)  But when there's an actual projectile coming out of the thing and that force kicks back into your arm or shoulder, when "Don't point the barrel at anything you want to keep" is Rule Number One for much more immediate reasons, everything feels completely different.  If you're an actor (or a writer, for that matter), find a good basic class and take it.  There is no substitute. 

Also, I have big pieces of paper in a box around here somewhere with holes in them that say "Look! I can hit things with a .38!  And occasionally with a 9mm!"  Which is really very cool.

Also also, shoulder holsters are very uncomfortable.

I was off to the side during a shot setup, wrapping myself up in Blue's music, when one of the PAs (who's also an actress) asked what I was listening to.  She and another girl seemed surprised/impressed that I'd made a playlist just for the character, and they're going to keep it in mind.  So yay, I shared one of my favorite tools with other people!  And a nice reminder that what other people learn from you doesn't have to be any great stroke of genius, just something useful that's new to them.  I know it's true of some of the things I've learned from other people, when I gush at them about it and they give me this look that says "Um, yeah, okay..."

Here's Blue's playlist on MySpace.   (It's an imperfect way of sharing these, since I have a lot of older and/or obscure stuff, so something is always missing.  In this case, three or four songs, plus one substitution -- my preferred Snake River Conspiracy cover of "How Soon Is Now" isn't available, but t.A.T.u.'s is.  But it gives you the general idea, and it's convenient.)

Give it a listen, and then think about going from that person to operetta silliness for Die Fledermaus rehearsal this afternoon.  If Prince Orlovsky wants to keep from being bored, he should try that!  :-D

Music to conquer the world by

In which our Diva remembers when this involved lots of time and cassettes

What's better than plotting out your own personal soundtrack?  Sharing it!

I've been building a playlist called "Go Girl" (just 'cause the phrase amuses me) for about a month now.  It started out with three or four songs that make me want to go out and take on the world, which I've gotten into the habit of playing on the way to auditions.  Since that generally involves longer than three or four songs in Chicago traffic, I started collecting recommendations from my friends, and, after lots of tweaking and twiddling, finalized a 71-minute, 19-track playlist of grade-A go-get-'em-ness.  (My friends being made entirely of awesome, I have discovered WAY more fantastic music in the past month or so than I needed.  Yay, lots of fresh tunes on the Zen!)

Eighteen of those tracks are now set up on this public MySpace playlist.  The missing song is Emilie Autumn's "How Strange," which is unfortunately not one of the handful of tracks on her MySpace Music page.  (It should be between "One Step Ahead" and "Rock What You Got.")  My advice is to hie yourself to your purveyor of choice and pick up or download her album Enchant.  (Also featuring "Rose Red," a spooky riff on the folk song, which I dare you to get out of your head once you hear it.)

My musical tastes are crazy-eclectic, so there's everything from early Madonna (my first-choice song for inspiration in high school -- I wore out my cassette playing it, well, over and over) to the latest release from Superchick.  With, yes, Debbie Gibson and even a couple country tracks along the way.  They might not all be up your alley, but there's plenty to choose from.  Enjoy!